Understanding
by Enchanted Sloth
Summary: Ginger gets a hold of Courtney's diary. How will she react to the things written on the pages? Courtney/Ginger and a hint of Carl/Blake if you squint.


**This started off as a drabble about Courtney's feelings for Ginger, but...it turned into a fic. It's not well thought out and I wrote it very quickly out of boredom, so don't expect a masterpiece. :) But I like to think that this is a nice little addition to the small collection of Ginger/Courtney fics. Why don't more people write about them together? I mean, it was always hinting that Courtney liked Ginger. In the smallest ways, I know, _but she even knew Ginger's shoe size._ If that's not love, I don't know what is. :3 **

**I'm only kidding about that. That's actually a bit too over the line of 'stalker', but honestly? Who even cares. I ship them and that's what's up. We can all at LEAST admit that Courtney was a bit sexuality confused during the whole show. I mean, really. Go re-watch and look out for the Courtney/Ginger scenes if you don't believe me. They're everywhere.  
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**Meh.  
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**I hope you enjoy! :D Oh, and there's also a hint of Carl/Blake in there.  
**

* * *

At first, she was fine just watching Ginger from afar. Usually Courtney wouldn't mess with anyone as unpopular as the Foutley spawn, but something about Ginger piqued her interest. Ginger didn't have anything, but in the end, she had everything Courtney didn't.

Ginger had friends who liked her for who she was, not the items she could obtain. She had a family who spent time with her and a mother who didn't try to change her. Sure, Courtney and her mother got along fine, but at a very young age, her mother molded her into the perfect Gripling girl. Courtney learned to love pink, frilly, and expensive, even if she herself wasn't too fond of it. Courtney had almost everything and Ginger had, in ways of putting it, _nothing_. And yet, it seemed like Ginger was content with having nothing.

The simple things made Ginger happy, not the expensive, material items.

Ginger was an interesting creature, so it wasn't surprising when Courtney realized she wanted _more_. More of Ginger.

Gradually, Courtney got what she desired. She even threw Ginger into the popular mix, despite Miranda's complaining, and Ginger did just fine. She and Ginger became friends, to say the least, and Courtney couldn't have been happier. Now she could walk up to Ginger, say hello, maybe even pass off a quick hug every once and a while. Finally, Courtney Gripling was getting the only thing she wanted. The only thing that couldn't be bought or provided for her.

Ginger.

It was becoming too much. She realized Ginger was becoming an obsession; a _need_. Once Ginger went away for her Avalanche Falls trip, Courtney tried to put Dodie and Macie in Ginger's shoes. She needed someone who had the same things as Ginger did, considering that's why she liked Ginger in the first place. At first, it was pleasant hanging out with Ginger's closest friends. After a while she realized that It wasn't a replacement she needed. No one could replace _Ginger_.

That's when Courtney Gripling realized she had a crush on Ginger Foutley.

She didn't want anyone to fill Ginger's shoes; no, she wanted _Ginger_ to step back into her own shoes. And that realization scared her. What did these feelings make her? What if her mother found out? Worse,_ what if Ginger found out? _

As soon as they repaired the friendship from the incident at Avalanche Falls, Courtney ran off to Miranda and Mipsy.

She couldn't be around Ginger anymore. Not if it was going to be like this. Maybe she could speak to Ginger once or twice a week, but not if it was going to risk her chances of being caught. She had to learn to put these feelings aside if she was going to be Ginger's friend. She had to find a way to get her feelings out, even if they were on paper.

A diary. She remembered Ginger bringing up her diary in a conversation once, so maybe a diary would do the trick. Her mother was excited when she said she wanted to start a diary, in fact, her mother was just about to rush out and buy one when Courtney stopped her.

"Mother! This is going to be my diary. At least let me pick my own, please?" She pleaded, standing in front of the mansion doors.

Mrs. Gripling hesitated, biting her lip. It wasn't everyday her daughter asked for such small gifts, especially a _diary _of all things.

She sighed, grabbing some money from her purse. Maybe, if she was lucky, Blake would desire a diary one day. It did seem like he was headed for that direction.

"Here, Darling. If there's money left over, go ahead and use it on whatever you want,"

Courtney smiled brightly, thanking her mother, before instructing Winston to take her out.

–

She didn't mean to lose the diary. She was pretty sure she had packed it up in her box filled with things that weren't being sold. It wasn't lost, she thought, once again walking around her room to find the stubborn book.

Her room was bare, even stripped of its pink interior. If she had dropped or forgotten the book, wouldn't it be on the floor? Why wasn't it on the floor? Why couldn't she find it?

After going through her box several more times, she came up with the same end result. It was missing.

She groaned, picking up a few of her boxes and lugging them down the stairs. She had to get going if she were going to get to the moving van in time.

She would have to worry about the diary later. Perhaps her mother had gotten a hold of it. Yeah, that's probably what happened to it.

Everything would be OK.

–

Dodie squealed as she flung herself onto Ginger's bed. It was she and Macie's first time in the exquisite house and they were loving every second. Plus, she had something exciting to show the two girls.

"You guys, you will not even believe what I found at the Gripling yard sale," Dodie squealed, pulling out a book from her overnight bag.

Ginger and Macie glanced at the worn blue cover of the book. A large, green flower held a lock that would open the book with the turn of a key.

"What is that?" Ginger asked.

"This just so happens to be Courtney Gripling's diary. It was in the yard sale and I just couldn't pass it up," Dodie squealed.

"Dodie!" Ginger shouted. "Even if it's in the yard sale, you can't possibly be serious! How would you feel if someone read your diary? Plus, you don't even have the lock."

Dodie pulled the metal key from her back pocket, her eyebrow raised.

Ginger groaned, falling back onto the floor.

"Well, I'm not reading it."

"You don't have to. Macie?"

Macie jumped at the opportunity, sitting beside of Dodie on the bed.

At first they would erupt into giggles, but after a while, it grew silent. Too silent.

Ginger looked up, over the book she was reading.

The diary fell onto the bed, closing automatically.

"I think I need to...use the bathroom," Macie excused herself from the room.

Dodie stared at the closed diary with a blank expression, her face unreadable.

"...Dodie?" Ginger asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Ginger...I think you might wanna read the diary. At least this entry." Dodie found the page and shoved it in Ginger's hands.

"I'm going to help your mom unpack." She announced, shutting the door behind her.

Ginger stared at the open diary in her hands. Courtney's script was everything she expected it to be; elegant, almost like cursive, not to mention the hearts dotting her i's. Ginger started reading, throwing away everything she said about 'privacy'.

_'Dear Diary,_

_ Hello there, it's Courtney again. Like I told Mama the day I got you, I'm going to put my feelings in here. I have been doing that ever since entry one, but wow, I never really wrote down the real reason I got you, huh? _

_The only reason I got you was so I could write down my feelings about my crush._

_I can't come out about these things in public. Mama would kill me! I'm not ashamed, no, that's not the reason. It's just...too much right now. I guess, I'm not 'ashamed', but I just know for certain that no one will except me. My mom would disown me, Miranda wouldn't want to be my friend, and Ginger...she'll be so disgusted. So very, very disgusted. And then I really wouldn't have anyone, would I? Well, maybe Blake. He's a little...too interested in that Carl Foutley. I've seen his stalker photos._

_I guess that's a little too hypocritical of me. Maybe Blake would understand._

_I may as well admit it. My crush is female. At first, she was only a weird obsession. She has everything I don't. At first, she was like my test mouse. I only wanted to be around her to understand the middle class more...in depth, so to speak. Later on, that feeling grew into something stronger. I managed to push it aside as 'platonic/sisterly love'. After only a little while longer, my head didn't see that as a logical explanation. Soon, this girl became an addiction. I couldn't get enough of her..._

_and it was killing me._

_Plus, someone else nabbed her before I could. Though, I doubt I could've nabbed her in the first place. She obviously doesn't swing this way._

_Then again, I never knew I swung this way either._

_Once I realized these feelings, I ran back to Miranda and Mipsy. I couldn't handle the feelings I had every time I'm around her. I could only stare at her longingly, feeling every urge to kiss her, to do SOMETHING, holding myself back._

_But then...her friends got involved with Miranda and Mipsy. It broke my heart to see her friends act so jealous of her boyfriend...it was killing me. But I had sworn to keep my distance, and as ashamed as I am to admit, the first time their suspicious activity took place, I acted like I was oblivious._

_The second time I noticed it, I couldn't let it slip by. I wasn't going to let her get hurt by her friends...not when I would do anything to be in her friends' shoes. Plus, this was also harming her relationship with her boyfriend! (Another pair of shoes I would gladly step into...) But I wasn't going to break them up in order to get that...something that even I, Courtney Gripling, wasn't and isn't allowed to have._

_After that, we became friends again. She forgave her friends, even though I myself was outRAGED, so...I was able to slip back into the shadows. Almost. Like said, we became friends again. I was able to barely contain myself when I was around her. I was terrified when she was admitted to the hospital for her appendix, but my visits were very brief. I felt If I had stayed any longer than I did, my arms would be around her and I would have to force myself to let go._

_Ginger Foutley is just something I'm never going to have. She's not obtainable to me, even with the use of my Gripling status. My name and social class cannot change the way she feels about me. I just hope this diary can get me to the point were we can be friends...and I can be OK with that._

_I'm done writing for tonight, Diary. Goodbye._

_Courtney Gripling'_

Ginger closed the diary softly, letting it fall to a thud beside of her.

She never could've imagined Courtney felt that way about her. Sure, Courtney was always a little..._clingy_, but that didn't mean anything. Her friends told her how Courtney was acting while she was away at Avalanche Falls, but she didn't really think anything of it at the time.

But now?

The only thing she could think of doing was returning the diary back to Courtney. Surely she didn't mean for this to be sold. These were her personal thoughts. They weren't meant to be_ public._

Ginger left for Courtney's. Alone. She didn't need Dodie and Macie for this one.

–

Courtney loaded the moving truck silently. Winston wasn't affordable any longer, but he decided to stay on for free. Their home was his, after all, and he said he would be getting a job to help support them. Right now, he was at said job, leaving the tiniest bit of loading up to them. He would be off from work in thirty minutes to drive the van to their new home. Which happened to be the Foutley's old home. Ironic.

At least Blake wouldn't be too lonely.

Courtney wiped her hands together as she loaded her last box. At least she was through. Now all her time would be dedicated to finding that pesky diary...

"Hey, Courtney." Ginger called, walking up slowly.

Courtney jumped, not expecting anyone to talk to her.

"Oh, h-hello, Ginger. Fancy seeing you here," Courtney smiled.

"So, it seems like Dodie and Macie found something of your in the yard sale today. Long story short, Dodie bought it. I'm here to give it back to the person it belongs to." Ginger held out the diary, the key placed on top.

Courtney gasped, her hands flying to her face. _The diary- _She grabbed it, thanking Ginger over and over.

Ginger laughed, watching Courtney hug the item to her chest like a precious treasure.

"Did...did anyone read it?" Courtney asked quietly, biting her lip.

Ginger looked down. Did she want to tell Courtney or keep it hidden? Courtney broke down and told her when she witnessed things going awry, so why couldn't she be as good as a friend as Courtney?

"...yeah." Ginger whispered, trying to meet Courtney's eyes.

Courtney's eyes widened in shock and terror, refusing to let Ginger's meet hers. What would Ginger do? Ignore her, scream at her, hate her, _what would Ginger do?_

"...oh. I-I'm sorry, Ginger. You were never supposed to find out. This is my own guilty secret and I take full responsibility for what might happen because of it. If you wanna make fun of me or scream at me or hate me for all eternity, you have every right." Courtney exclaimed, her diary falling to the ground.

"No, no, Courtney. It's OK for you to feel like this. If anyone understands,_ I understand _that you can't control how you feel about people. If anything, I'm actually flattered that you like me. I would assume you'd be with Miranda," Ginger laughed.

She wasn't mad?

"So...you don't hate me? Even a little?" Courtney asked quietly, finally meeting Ginger's eye.

Ginger shook her head, smiling softly.

"I could never hate you for something like this, Courtney. You..." Ginger gulped. "_You mean too much to me._ And plus, this isn't even a big deal. Lots of people feel this way about their best friends."

"Really?" Courtney asked, her voice drenched in disbelief.

"Yeah, really. Macie told me she feels like that about Dodie a _looong_ time ago. I don't know if she feels the same way now, but she never told Dodie. Or, if Dodie knows, she doesn't bring it up," Ginger informed.

This seemed to brighten the ashamed girl up. Her eyes brightened and she smiled.

"That makes me feel better. Thank you, Ginger. It means a lot that you're trying so hard to understand." Courtney cried gleefully, reaching down to pick up her fallen diary.

As she came up, a pair of lips met her cheek in a soft kiss. Ginger pulled away, smirking.

"Trust me, Courtney. It isn't as hard for me as you think it is."

**I cannot believe I wrote this. I know, everyone was OCC in this...I'm sorry. TT_TT But, eh, I can't complain. I sort of like the end. But only sorta. I think it's cheesy, but it gives me feels, so...**

**Thanks for reading! :D  
**


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